In the quest of racial reconciliation…oh wait I said, “quest” that implies that someone or groups of people are on an arduous journey seeking for something.  So, are there people or groups on the quest for racial reconciliation?

 

In my experience it has been largely a lopsided quest in search for reconciliation.  Largely, the search comes mainly from the minority people groups.  Very rarely do you see the majority group seeking any type of reconciliation.  When it comes to fair and equal treatment and justice the arms of the majority have always been twisted. 

 

I believe both parties are responsible to take an active role to seek reconciliation but I believe the burden of responsibility for reconciliation is on the shoulder of the majority group.  If the majority group does not take the initiative to seek reconciliation it will likely not happen.

 

The only way I can explain this is through the illustration of a broken marriage.  In this country we cannot dismiss there is a broken relationship between White America and Black America. In many broken marital relationship there is the offender and the offended.  In this case it is White America as the offender and Black America as the offended.

 

When the relationship is going bad or is broken often times it is the offended party who is constantly communicating to the spouse what is wrong.  After a while the offending spouse begins to blame the other spouse and tells them to stop whining and complaining when in all actuality its the offending spouses attitude, treatment, lack of understanding, selfishness and ultimately the unwillingness to look in the mirror to see what they have done that has contributed to the failing marriage. 

 

If and when the offending spouse comes to their senses and sees their own shortcomings the natural thing to do is one, ask for forgiveness and two, begin to seek counseling to restore the relationship.  Consequentially, during the reconciliation process the offending party loses some of its privilege.  If it is a fidelity issue they may not be able to go to some places they use to go, passwords for Internet accounts may need to be given up and whereabouts will always have to be known.  If it is a financial issue, the offending party may have to give up the checkbook and spending maybe done only through an allowance system. So until trust can be reestablished the offending party may have to endure a probationary time until all privileges and trust can be restored.

 

White America bears most of the burden of responsibility for reconciliation because we are the offender and we must be the initiator to restore the broken relationship and may have to give up some of our privileges to get there.  So, let’s stop telling the offended to stop whining and complaining about what’s wrong with our relationship and let’s start taking the time to sit down, listen and seek help.